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  • [河北福彩排列7走势图] [手机访问]

    河北福彩排列七走势图:河北福彩排列7走势图

    你的坚持,你的好,需要时间检验

    时间:2019-02-12 17:38来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

    河北福彩排列7走势图 www.kxrqd.com   一个小妹妹在群里咨询团长,感觉自己比同龄人成长的慢,是不是真的有所谓的智商差距?因为同是实习生,自己熬夜做完的东西被认为是“糊弄”而遭到批评,别人却是聪明又有效率,有点怀疑自己。

      我现在看到这样的疑惑总会想到十年前的自己,是不是真的老了?!我想,是自己这些年成长了不少吧。

      01

      小的时候我爸经常跟我说一句话,就是——笨鸟先飞。他说我比别人笨,脑子反应慢,所以一定要坚持,只有坚持努力才能赶上别人的步伐。

      他还说,我不是一个特别吸引人的孩子,交朋友比较慢热,别人必须要与我相处时间久了才能发现我的好。所以我要真诚的对待别人,用真心换真心,坚信大家早晚能看到我的好。

      同时我妈也教育过我,不要占别人的小便宜,不要坑人害人,不要和别人耍心眼,要实实在在的与人相处,因为我很笨,学着人家耍心眼只能搬起石头砸自己的脚。

      我很听话,所有的话都照做了:踏实、坚持、努力、真诚、坦诚、与人为善。但是有时候遇到一些事会颠覆这些教育理念,我会怀疑自己坚守的价值观是否正确。

      比如大学有一年评选奖学金,按照成绩排名我是绝对能拿到二等奖的,但是有的人就利用参与校园活动可以加分这一条,通过与班干部联手更改分数,生生把我(包括成绩排名靠前的同学)挤到了后面,甚至我连三等奖学金都拿不到。

      当时我也是生活委员,但是从来不和其他班干部走得很近,这个结果出来后我很愤慨却无能为力,想着算了吧,宁愿不要那几百块钱也不愿意和他们同流合污,被挤掉就被挤掉吧!

      结果事情最后有了一个反转,学校发现有学生通过这种手段更改分数挤掉了成绩好的同学,就决定奖学金全部按照考试成绩排名,其他的优秀干部啊、积极分子啊再考虑参与校内活动的因素。我最后还是妥妥的拿到了该得的荣誉。

      过后我就慢慢遗忘了这件事,生活中时不时会遇到被误解、被打压、被怀疑的时候,我基本上都是沉默,因为觉得解释没有任何意义。也因为抱持着爸妈的教育观点,相信身正不怕影子斜,只要自己有所坚持,并且坚持的东西没有错,就不去在意外人怎么评判自己。

      从十来岁的孩子长到二十出头的青年,一路走来我都倍感孤独,不仅因为持有相同价值观的同行人极少,还因为我的执拗、清高、沉默,几乎没有十分交心的朋友。

      大学是我第一次生活在家庭之外,接触许多与我价值观不同的人,在看到别人的行为、感到别人的行为准则与自己不同,并且都活得比我自在滋润之后,我有段时间非?;骋勺约旱募岢?。

      加上那段日子喜欢一个男生,但是明显的感到他对我的态度和评价,以及他真正的本性并不如我想象的一样美好,但是自己却控制不住对他的情愫后,更加的挣扎。

      我是否要学着像别人一样生活,是否要变成和别人一样,我的坚持到底有什么效用,我的理想到底现实不现实,都是我思考的问题,也是折磨我的原因。

      那时候除了学习就是读书,继续独来独往,外表平静内心汹涌。我不停的追问又不停的推翻,不断的尝试又不断的回到起点。

      自我怀疑在那段时间到达了顶点,就像文章开始的小妹妹看到自己和别人的差距时产生的疑问一样。

      这些撕裂,直到工作稳定下来,并且在其中找到支点和成就感后才渐渐平复。最关键的是,从来没有真正谈过恋爱的我,第一次就遇到了非常契合脾性、非常理解我的对象,而我们的相处方式也几乎和我想象中几乎一模一样。

      直到那时候,我才感觉找到了自己的定位,才感到孤独的坚持有所回报,后来的日子,也不断的庆幸自己这些年的坚持。

      02

      我们生活在人群之中,不和别人比较,不受外界影响几乎是不可能的,所以才会在看到彼此的差距时感到羡慕、自卑和慌乱。好像别人都有一套坚实的盔甲,只有自己赤头赤脚的乱跳,像个小丑一样??墒钦媸登榭鍪钦庋?

      大四的时候我去大舅所在的城市旅行,其目的是受不了情感的自我折磨去寻求帮助。我跟大舅说,我和他什么事情都没有,就是纯粹的喜欢,觉得他很成熟懂得很多,在他面前自己很自卑,一自卑就焦虑,感觉自尊低到了尘埃里。

      他问我,你说说对方怎么个成熟法?我想了想,居然说不出来,我说就是一种感觉吧,感觉我们的成长环境完全不同,他应该遇到的事情更多思想更深刻。

      我应该一辈子都忘不掉大舅的那句话,并且应该时不时拿出来反省一下,就是:你们是同龄人,经历也许有所差异,但是大部分的孩子是无法超越自己的年龄所限的,所以,你认为对方很成熟只是自己的臆测而已。因为喜欢你才把他抬得那么高,而真实的情况你根本就不了解,不要自己瞎想。要多关注自己,好好锻炼身体好好学习,等你遇到一个真正适合的人,这些所有的纠结都不是问题了。

      事情当然没有那么容易解决,我又反反复复一年才渐渐走出情绪的低谷,走上真正的人生道路。

      让我现在回头去看,大舅是告诉我一个最基本的道理,就是身处某个环境或某个情结之中,人的评价很容易偏颇,不管是对自己还是对别人。应该用一种开放的正面的心态去看待每个阶段最重要的事情,比如当时我应该专心于学业和就业,而当自己走到更高的阶段后才能发现当时的目光短浅、思想封闭。

      更重要的是,不要用自己的思想去臆测别人,你永远不能完全了解别人的经历和思绪。无论何时,做好自己,把握好自己,坚持自己的坚持,走好自己的路。

      03

      以前看过一句话,说人生是一场长跑,最开始领先的人未必就第一个到达终点,所以,过程中的耐力和持续的坚持才是赢到最后的决定性因素。

      所以我在看到左岸老师的文章《你的起点和终点无关》时才那么有感触。老师说:“一些过去比我们读书更优秀,在起跑线上抢到了更好位置的人,早已放弃了人生的马拉松,我们能够跑得更远,仅仅是因为我们还在跑,如此而已。”

      长长的跑道是漫长的人生,我们握在手里的种种品质、德行、能力、学识,需要被时间检验。好的能成为加速的动力,坏的也会拖慢行进的速度,而这所有的选择,又都是自己做出的。

      所以与其在跑步的时候左顾右盼羡慕别人,不如专心把眼光放在自己身上,仔细观察一下跑得快的人用什么姿态,而自己又与之相差在哪里,慢慢调整步调,慢慢追赶。

      所以我给小妹妹的建议是我这几年工作的收获,就是多观察佩服的人,多请教,哪怕对方不耐烦或者压根不想教你,把自己的心态摆正,接着问接着学接着慢慢观察,也要从其他人身上学习,哪怕多绕几个圈。一定放开心态,接受当下别总怀疑自己。

      而我们的团长更能直接切中要害说:“99%的职场差距不是智商造成的,而是态度和专业的精神不够,对标一个合适的人,开始为缩小差距而努力。”

      这短短的几句话,其实需要小妹妹用长久的时间去践行,再用更长的时间去检验自己行为的结果,这所有的一切都不是随便说说,或者今天看看明天继续随之认之能得到的。

      是一个人前期的所有积累在时间中继续接受打磨,并且继续接受时间审视才能得到的结果。

      就像我们一位团友所说的:“从柔软无邪的婴儿修炼成仁智勇君子,是一条多么漫长的道路。”

      人生之路漫长,所以有时候需要把眼光放长远,把时间拉长,再过三五年,或者等自己学会用更多的角度看待事情,等自己再成熟一些回想,才知道之前的观点、选择和坚持是否正确,是否有价值。

      我们每个人都有自己的优点和长处,客观看待自己和他人是一种自信,用心缩短彼此的差距是能力,这中间,是时间这个奇妙的显微放大镜。

    Tags: 坚持 检验

    本文网址://www.kxrqd.com/meiwen/155017.html (手机阅读)

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