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  • [河北福彩排列7走势图] [手机访问]

    吃好饭再来

    时间:2018-09-17 14:48来源:河北福彩排列7走势图 作者: 景定书

    河北福彩排列7走势图 www.kxrqd.com     吃好饭再来
        妈妈做好了饭,对5岁的女儿小丽说:"宝贝,你爸爸在邻居家下棋,快去叫他回来吃饭!"
        一到邻居家,小丽就叫开了:"爸爸,爸爸,妈妈叫你回家吃饭了!"
        爸爸头也不抬地说:"等会儿,今天一定要赢一局再回去!"邻居家的姐姐小声跟小丽说:"今天你爸爸就没赢过!"
        又下了几局,爸爸还是一直在输,小丽等得着急了,便上前去拉着爸爸的手说:"爸爸,爸爸,我们先回家吃饭吧,吃好饭再来输!"
        (景定书)
        感谢信
        小王收到一封感谢信,是一个他曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。他兴冲冲地拆开信封,只见里面有五张彩票,都被刮过了,露出了数字。
        小王奇怪地打开信,只见信上写道:"非常感谢您的帮助,作为礼物,我给您买了些彩票……真遗憾,您没中奖。"
        (晓晓竹)
        哪里像
        有个男人特别爱看古装宫廷电视剧,他很羡慕剧中的皇上,一次他看到皇帝上早朝的情节,兴致骤起,情不自禁摆了个皇上的造型,高喊一声"皇上驾到",然后洋洋自得地问妻子:"像不像?"妻子没理他,他追问:"到底像不像?"妻子无奈地应付了一句:"像。"男人得寸进尺:"哪里像?长得像?演得像?"
        妻子白了他一眼,说:"喊得像!" (佚名)
        共 同 点
        小美的老公要出差,临走前,小美嘱咐老公每晚给她发一条短信。
        当天晚上,小美果然收到老公的短信:"你睡吧。"小美回复道:"语言不生动,你就不能换一种说法?"
        次日晚上,短信如期而至,还是三个字:"我睡了。"小美哭笑不得,当即拨通老公的电话,启发他说:"你就不会再浪漫一些?就不能挖掘一些咱们两人共同的东西?"老公唯唯诺诺地答应了。
        第三天晚上,短信终于来了,小美赶紧拿过手机一看,这次果然有了"共同"的东西,还是三个字:"咱睡吧…… "(夜莺)
        到底是夫妻
        夫妻两人到音乐厅欣赏交响乐。散场后,两人默默地走着,良久,妻子问:"你觉得音乐会怎么样?"丈夫哲人似的思考了一会儿,反问:"你说呢?"妻子吞吞吐吐地说:"说实话,我没怎么听懂。"
        丈夫顿时眉飞色舞,紧紧抓住妻子的手,说:"我们到底是夫妻??!心有灵犀一点通,我也没有听懂。"
        (姚才华)
        青蛙
        母女俩在看一部反映当代高校生活的电视连续剧,剧里老提到一个网络新名词—青蛙,母亲看了老半天,也没弄明白"青蛙"的意思。
        女儿给母亲解释,年轻人把长相较丑的男子称为"青蛙",母亲听后笑了。
        过了一会儿,母亲好像想起了什么,转身拿起电话拨起来,嘴里还嘟囔着:"这两天你爸出差,还没给他打电话呢,也不知这只老青蛙怎么样了。"
        (张金山)
        浪漫短信
        情人节,单身的小文收到这样一条短信:"你是我的玫瑰,你是我的花,深深爱你。"可是,发短信过来的号码很陌生,小文本想回个短信, 可又怕这是个资费陷阱。
        半小时后,短信又来了:"抱歉,刚才短信发错了,在这里祝您情人节快乐!"原来如此,小文觉得对方挺懂事的,还记得祝福自己,就礼貌地回复:"没事,谢谢。"
        30秒后,小文收到一条短信:"谢谢您订制本娱乐网包月信息,资费每月60元,先扣费后享用,一月后可退订。"(黄玉)
        回忆录
        一位女演员正在写回忆录,一个多年不见的老同事打来电话:"你的回忆录写得怎么样了?"
        "还好,谢谢。"女演员十分感激。
        "哦,顺便问一下。"那个同事接着说,"你现在有没有回忆起我曾经借给你两千块钱?"(佚名)
        虚拟生活
        李姐第一次登录表弟的博客,看后吓了一跳,上面竟然记录着一个富家公子哥的生活,比如:昨天和朋友去打高尔夫了,今天开宝马车去练歌房了……
        这天,李姐遇到了表弟,便问他怎么回事,表弟坦率地说:"姐,那就是写着玩儿的。你想啊,我整天累死累活,挣的钱刚够吃饭,多苦闷哪!我在网上放松一下,当一回有钱人,这总不犯法吧?"说完,向李姐借了一千块。
        第二天,李姐又登录了表弟的博客,一看,不禁倒吸了一口凉气,只见上面写着:昨天,下岗多年的表姐来找我借钱??此挚闪?,我随手就扔给她一万,说不用还了。
        (水滴)
        抽 大 奖
        刘欣是个职业女性,下班后还要做家务,让她觉得很累。这天吃完晚饭,刘欣从桌下抱出个饼干罐,上面贴着"抽奖箱"三个字。儿子问:"妈妈,吃完饭要抽奖吗?" 刘欣点点头:"聪明,来吧!"性急的老公伸手抓了一个纸条:"哈,二等奖!"儿子也把手伸进抽奖箱:"妈妈,我的是特等奖,奖品是什么?"刘欣笑道:"二等奖是刷碗三天。"
        "那特等奖呢?""每天自己洗袜子。"
        这时,老公笑着搂着儿子说:"把纸条扔回去吧,你妈又没请公证员,整个抽奖过程无效。走,打游戏去!"
        (小月)
        词汇量的变化
        三个小伙子在酒吧里闲聊,最年轻的小伙子说:"我觉得自己的词汇量太贫乏了。"
        "别担心,等你爱上了一个姑娘,你的词汇量至少会增加一倍。"热恋中的小伙子答道。
        结了婚的小伙子叹口气,说道:"的确如此,而且结婚后,为了找各种借口,你的词汇量又会增加一倍。"
        (田力)
        家乡的特色
        三个来自不同地方的士兵为了庆祝他们的相遇,说好每人带上各自家乡的特色来聚餐。第一个人带来了家乡的火腿,第二个人带来了几瓶家乡的红酒,第三个士兵两手空空,身后却跟着一个人。
        那两个人好奇地问:"你带来了什么???"
        第三个士兵答道:"你们已经看到了,我带来了我弟弟,这就是我们家乡赴宴的特色。"
        (水滴)

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